When I was about seven years old, I quite vividly remember the first time that I heard a voice in my head using the word “I.” In that moment I was filled with confusion and a sense of horror. I felt as if somehow the I that I knew myself to be had been taken hostage by this assumed other I! I ran into the house to tell my Mom that there was someone in my head claiming to be me! Well, the disbelief did not last long and quite unconsciously there was a surrender and an allegiance with this voice. It was only a few years after this experience that I realized that this thinking I could only see things in black and white, right and wrong, this and that, to make sense. This way of thinking felt so sharp and absolute in its beliefs and perceptions that it physically hurt, and it most certainly effected my relationship with self and others. Fast forward a couple of decades and there was an even different realization that finally made more sense and afforded a deeper relaxation and ease in the world views of my mind. And, and or both and thinking, the radical inclusivity of both sides of the coin. But the gift of this revelation went beyond just the holding of opposites. It was the third possibility that it provided – a proverbial gray area wherein lay more possibilities than either of its original dualistic points of view.
It is indeed this third possibility that is so amazing and in Yoga there are the three Gunas that give shape to this idea. It is used to describe everything from the nature of digestion to yoga poses: Rajas is fiery, energetic as well as anxious, restless, angry, stressed and even chaotic. Tamas is dull, dark inactive or heavy, while Sattva is balanced, harmonious and of natural intelligence. In teaching asana, or yoga poses, we use gravity to create a tamasic effect, a grounding downward toward the Earth. This, in turn, births an upward movement called yielding or anti-gravity – rajas. The balance of these two creates expanded, multi-dimensional space in the body which allows for sattivic qualities such as flow, breath, stability and ease. When tracking or looking in the Kiloby Inquiries a similar experience occurs in the bodymind that undeniably effects the connection with and of Awareness and space. In the human psychology there are natural opposites to perceptions inherited through intergenerational attitudes, ritual, responses, and trauma. For example, the natural opposite to despair is hope, yet the quality of import is need. When holding guilt and one of its opposites, accusation we discover our natural innocence and when inquiring into boredom or a state of being checked out and its counterpart addiction, passion rises naturally. When looking at the quality of loneliness and its opposite, intimacy it is connection that bubbles up. So, connection has no opposite as it is the natural quality that gets bound up and frozen in time when the tendrils of loneliness first takes our breath away. So far, as a Consciousness Counselor and new practitioner of the Kiloby Inquiries I see this happening both in my own looking and with those that I practice as well: That natural presence is infused with the fragrance of qualities that too are natural to the human experience when unaffected by constriction. If we look at and feel the effects of betrayal and loyalty both, a natural sense of trust emerges. It is not a trust born of proof or conditions, but a felt sense of trust that permeates life itself; a knowing that permeates the experience of Being. So, this sharing is not only one of gratitude for our work, but also of awe and wonder at the possibilities of those marvelous qualities that awaken from beneath the surface mind and knots of history we are all so keen to release.
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