pearl

The beautiful mermaid sat on the edge of her best friend’s ocean-side palace, her iridescent tail gently swaying with the rhythm of the waves. The horizon spread before her like a canvas, ablaze with the vivid hues of a glorious summer sunrise. Pearl, for many years, had lived her life balanced between land and sea, always close to the shore, existing in two worlds yet not entirely belonging to either. She had earned this elevated state through the accumulation of her life experiences, rising above materialism, reactive thinking, and the realms of fear and darkness. True suffering had once felt all too real for Pearl, but it no longer held power over her as she basked in the realms of inner light and love, both on land and at sea.

This morning, like many others, Pearl found herself deep in contemplation. Something had happened earlier that stirred her thoughts, something so trivial yet powerful enough to pull her back into the depths of suffering. It was curious to her, this intense reaction to seemingly nothing. Instead of pondering the event, she chose to observe her response. She recognized the familiar, angry part of herself whose motto was, “I will never get a break.” This part had shown up and gone straight to battle, hijacking her with its relentless, judgmental energy. It judged the ineptness of life and those around her, granting her the illusion of being exceptionally capable, shining in her power as she demonstrated how much she could handle.

Pearl realized these moments held her, identified her, and contained her in such a way that she might at least guarantee some control. She couldn’t imagine her life flowing without such demands, and yet, it was that very flow she longed for. Until now, she had prided herself on her ability to conquer, fighting any obstacle to the end. But she was beginning to see how this quest for superiority had diverted her attention from deep presence and clarity. Her goal had been to aim for supremacy, driving not only her problem-solving antics but also her quest for spiritual grandeur.

This was a monumental realization. She saw that blaming, shaming, and victimizing others in the wake of her illusory power had to stop if she were to elevate her consciousness further. Pearl gazed down at the water and saw her reflection. She saw two parts of herself: her wise, true self and the protective part that sought to shield her essence. She understood how the protective part always needed a steeper mountain to climb, while her true self had no interest in conquering the world. She longed to flow with life’s events with peace and ease.

Pearl’s best friend often advised her to act differently—“Do this or that,” she would say, “and everything will be fine.” But it never worked for Pearl. Instead, she willingly welcomed the feeling of anger, choosing not to hold it in disdain or resentment, nor to merge with it entirely. She learned to relate to this part with empathy and compassion, growing to give this genius part a place in her heart for its long-time efforts. Pearl was tired, and the adrenaline needed to sustain this angry part had taken a toll on her beautiful body.

Feeling mildly disheartened that it took another crisis to truly see how long this reaction had been present, Pearl relaxed back and allowed the river of thoughts to flow. She accessed space around her breath, energy, and sensations, melting the apparent boundaries of her body and that part, softening into the essence of space and nothingness. Here, she experienced a nonnegotiable peace and here she remained, so that life could flow without hooking any historic parts into action. She was deeply grateful for learning not to conquer her own protective part, but to surrender, integrate, and rise like the sun and the color of the sky.
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