dialectics

The tiny owl insisted on wanting a life partner, yet wondered if she was ready or how she would know who that right owl coco was! After a string of disastrous and dangerous partnerships, she chose to be single, refraining from looking and focusing on healing her heart, mind, and feathered body. She constructed a nest of security and learned to live on her own.
Years later on a dating app called ‘Who, Who is right for You, You?’ she met a male owl and started to get to know him. She flew an hour to meet him in his territory for each of their visits as she was too cautious to invite him to hers. Her fear and control caused her to reflect on her inner turbulence and as she did, she made an interesting realization.
Her owl parents were extremely promiscuous, both having many partners, insecurities, and troubles. She became the same way as an owlet, seeking a partner based on the color of his feathers, moving into his nest, and then leaving a short time thereafter for another. Boundaryless, she mimicked her family’s ways and met a lot of danger and a bit of heartache too. So, in her abstinence, she became the opposite, enacting the truth that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Life moves in dialectics – action, reaction, synthesis. Repeat.
Now she was too boundaried! The owl went from partying to sobriety, carefree to serious, many partners to no partners and both extremes were no longer working. But, when her new friend did not call back right away, for example, she felt anxious and afraid, her mind full of ‘what if’s’ around fidelity, questioning her perceptions and wondering if being single was best.
The tiny owl was not in danger, nor was she ignoring anything important. She realized that at the beginning of her journey she needed crisis as a catalyst for change, to make the massive shift from out of control to highly controlled. But the catalyst she was now ready for was progress. She no longer needed a crisis to grow as she felt that she could learn to trust her owl wisdom and intuition and relax into a new way of being with an owl that might be the right one. She would take her chances and do it differently this time, so with a bit of fear and a lot of excitement she invited him to her nest for their next weekend visit.