covid

Diane was the vigilant clocktower of her household, meticulously managing every tick and tock of her family's bustling schedule. Her husband and two children depended on her to weave the threads of their social, school, and work calendars into a harmonious tapestry. It was a role she cherished, a delicate dance of time that no one else in her family could master with such finesse.
One warm, sunlit morning, the calendar whispered its instructions to her: a dentist appointment for one of her sons. Arriving punctually, they stepped into the reception area, but Diane suddenly felt as though she had plunged into a river of déjà vu, its currents pulling her back to the previous day. Confused, she approached the receptionist, apologizing for what she believed to be a mistake. The receptionist, however, checked her records and confirmed that Diane's last visit had been eight months prior. She urged Diane to take a seat.
Diane sank into the chair, her mind a storm of unease. Her son was called into the dentist’s room, leaving her alone with her confusion. Long Covid had transformed her once-sharp mind into a foggy, unpredictable landscape, eroding her confidence in managing her family's lives and her part-time business. She felt adrift in a vast, timeless sea, where the anchor of her meticulous nature failed to find purchase. In that quiet moment, Diane allowed herself to momentarily float in this boundless expanse, feeling the disorienting freedom of timelessness. It was as if the universe itself was a vast, uncharted ocean, and she was a tiny boat, untethered and at the mercy of the waves. The sensation filled her with dread, questioning her sanity and competence.
When her son reappeared, the weight of her responsibilities yanked her back to the shore of reality. She stood, paid, and left, her anxiety tightening its grip around her heart. Desperate for solace, Diane sought out Sophia, her trusted friend and spiritual guide. Sophia welcomed her into a warm, embracing chair and encouraged her to let go of her resistance, to embrace the vast realm of timelessness. Trusting Sophia, Diane allowed herself to dissolve the boundaries of her time-bound identity, feeling an immediate wave of relief wash over her like a gentle tide. But the cords of her earthly obligations—her children, her work, her mastery of time—pulled her back. "I'm the one who remembers," Diane protested, clinging to the identity that defined her role in the world. Yet, Sophia gently invited her once more to find refuge in the infinite, to be awake, aware, and at peace.
Diane closed her eyes, her body and mind floating in the serene, uncharted waters of eternity. She was neither tethered to anyone nor anything, feeling a profound sense of relief as she entered this timeless dimension, where her mind was as clear and expansive as a cloudless sky. Sophia joined her in this tranquil space, both women surrendering their time-bound selves. They remained there, unhurried, their breaths synchronized like a metronome marking the rhythm of life. When they finally opened their eyes, they marveled at the calm that enveloped them, discussing the balance of existing with one foot in the realm of time and the other in the boundless expanse of space.
Diane shared her memories of the early days of Covid, when her mind had been as clear and boundless as the sky, allowing her to dwell in her natural, unconditioned state for hours. It was a grace that had prepared her for this very moment, yet the pull of her daily life, tinged with fear, often dragged her back. "Was it Covid, or was it grace?" Diane mused aloud, her voice carrying the weight of her journey. She understood now that the true mastery of time lay not just in meticulous planning but in the ability to navigate the delicate dance between the structured world of time and the limitless expanse of timelessness.