shame

Within the family atmosphere of emotional breadcrumbs, shame is often hidden in plain view, unclaimed and unrecognized.
It disguises as self-sabotage and disgust through projection onto others, often coupled with hate, rage, or fear. Or it needs perfectionism, control, or pleasing as its savior.
Only the child in this bubble of unclaimed shame does feel its anguish and will valiantly claim it as personally his. From the unconscious perspective of the child, if they own the shame, they can at least try to fix it.
This shame ultimately takes the form of a core inadequacy belief that demands: I am shameful, unworthy, wrong, bad, unlovable, or broken. But this shame was never the childs to begin with! And taking it on never works anyway. Ever.
Instead, the child grows up feeling responsible for fixing their parents health or well-being. The adult child grows to feel that they know better than their parents. And they embark on a lifetime of self-improvement seeking peace or resolve.
And we often get caught in a viscous cycle where we shame the parts that feel shame. We reject the parts that feel rejected. We feel anger toward the part of ourselves that is angry! All to keep the feeling at a safe distance.
It is energetically inefficient to pile affirmations on top of this state. It must be felt and allowed, with the space of the silent, conscious, awake, aware Self, preferably with another nervous system. In this way we can give shame its place in the evolving consciousness of not only our family, but humanity at large.
Working with Mother and Father Wounds can bring peace to generations.