Amnesia

Hey, how would it feel to uncross your arms love? Perhaps even your legs? Straighten your spine and open your eyes? Would you look at me for a moment and hang on? Loosen that jaw and drop those shoulders, rest a moment, maybe not quite so withdrawn?
We are here, you and I, not in there, lost and desolate. We are in this room on a beautiful day while your attention is grappling with regrets and aggression. Two time zones, one bodymind, trauma fills each moment like oil and water.
Oh, what is that thought? Neti, neti, neti. Another? Pivot, rephrase, appraise, and amaze yourself over and over until you actually do.
Hey, can you feel your feet, sense your seat, your hands and your heart? Can you feel your breath for a few moments and hang on? Letting go of the nothingness, flat lining consciousness, where is your passion? Let’s feel it now as a simple, “I can.”
You have stated how a hundred percent certain you are while alone, and how that dissolves when in company with music lovers’ perfume.
How many years now? How many jobs? How many friendships, recoveries and heart throbs gone? Until today. Today, and again, another today.
Boredom and addiction buried under layers of trauma, both sides of the family filled with academic drama.  I can, I can’t. I will, I won’t. I hate me, you hate me won’t get you out. Caught in an endless loop of binary thinking that quiets for a moment each evening when you start drinking.
Let us now position that tall, young body in a standing pillar shaped form; mold your attention toward a positive platform from which to feel the aliveness of you.
Please - take my hand. Did I say how very glad I am that you are here?  Whatever you choose, there is a part of me that trusts you; the ‘you’ that is whole, peaceful and still, the one beyond all those habits to escape. The YOU that is beyond the stringent confines of your young trauma and cruel date rape. The YOU that allows for the absurd and the beautiful, that YOU that brought you here to this moment, together, renewable.
There is a ‘you’ that has never been harmed, shamed or touched, yet I am here for the parts that are frozen in fear. Let it flow till you remember, feel till you surrender, fall till you relax and then come home to your body, no longer the accident site. Home to your body, a place to rest and take delight in the knowing that you are not that thing that happened. It is a persistent memory, recapturing your attention, ready by choice to release in to bliss.